Salvation and Despair
by SC-Jupe
Summary: After he joins the ANBU, Itachi struggles with deciding where his loyalties truly lie. ItachiXOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Salvation and Despair **by SC-Jupe

**Disclaimer** - I do not own Naruto, which of course belongs to Kishimoto-sensei.

**Summary **- A romance/tragedy. Itachi was a handsome young shinobi living in Konoha before ANBU gave him the order to massacre his clan. Doesn't it seem unlikely that he didn't have at least one love interest? ItachiXKana.

* * *

**Prologue**

_A dark-haired man trudged along a dusty path lined with desert weeds; with every step he took his burden seemed heavier. The unforgiving sun shone brightly in the pale blue sky. He wiped sweat from his brow and glanced back at the small girl he was carrying on his back - she had fallen asleep. He breathed a small sigh of relief; her weak pleas for water were painful for him to hear. No matter how much he wanted to, he could not provide it; not now, anyway._

_Finally, they were approaching home. The man's thoughts turned to his wife. He could see her sparkling black eyes, hear her musical voice. She was probably already preparing for their return: getting cool baths ready, setting out their change of clothes, cooking dinner. Little Ayume would be begging to help in any way she could; she was always trying to emulate her mother. He smiled a bit at the thought, in spite of his exhaustion. _

_The two approached a small hill; their clan's little village would be just on the other side. However, when the man reached the summit, he stopped abruptly in his tracks. He stared in shocked silence at what was once his village. The modest desert houses in neat rows were dilapidated and charred. The villagers' intricate irrigation system had enabled them to plant several trees and small shrubs; the trees were now bare and ghostly. There was no evidence of any other plant life. He could see abandoned weapons strewn across the streets._

_The pervasive odor of burned flesh reached the man. He felt nauseas, and his knees buckled. Slowly, he knelt down and gently took the girl off his back, waking her in the process. She yawned and tried to rub the sleepiness from her eyes. "Daddy, are we home yet?" she whined._

_The man buried his face in his hands and sobbed. Curious, her little oval face turned in the direction he was facing. Seeing the calamity, her eyes grew wide in astonishment. "Daddy… where are we?" she asked, her voice small and worried. The man pulled her into a tight hug, still crying._

* * *

**Chapter 1**

The Uchiha clan may have seemed close knit to the citizens of Konoha, but the Uchihas within the walls of their secluded section of the village knew the truth differently. The clan's bloody history of brothers killing brothers driven by the lust for the power of the Mangekyou Sharingan had caused sharp divisions between the numerous small families that made up the clan. Cousins may have known their cousins, but relations stopped there. Second, third, fourth cousins were unknown to each other; these ninja felt virtually no kindred connections.

So, it was completely natural for Uchiha Itachi to feel some sort of physical attraction to Uchiha Kana. The closest relation that Kana could have been to him was fourth cousin, and even that was unlikely.

After leading a successful B-rank mission with ease, Kana led her three-man squad to the Hokage's office to report.

The Third Hokage leaned forward in his chair, his hands clasped on his desk. He peered at Team 4's squad leader from under his red wide brimmed hat, that infamous serious expression of his constricting his features. The sun shone in through the windows on either side of him, casting a pale yellow light across the wooden floorboards; it was still early in the afternoon.

"Reporting mission success," Kana stated evenly, flanked on both sides by her teammates, Makimi and Taijo. "The scrolls were retrieved with minimal interference." Kana placed two blue scrolls on the Hokage's desk before stepping back and respectfully clasping her hands behind her back.

Kana couldn't help smiling slightly, even though she usually concealed her emotions well. This was her first high ranking mission that was so successful that she and her teammates returned with almost no scratches to show for their troubles.

Unfortunately, Kana could recall missions that she led that hadn't ended so well. On her third mission as a chunin, Kana was assigned to an A-rank mission. She was leading a squad of three genin and one chunin even greener than herself on account of an extreme shortage in jonin. (Apparently there was some major political dissention with the Village Hidden in the Mist that threatened a Fourth Ninja War.) Her mission was barely a success at the cost of two of the lives of her squad members. She and the other two ninja didn't look so good either.

Kana sighed at the memory. She was only twelve years old at the time and had come a long way since then.

The Hokage nodded approval as he examined the scrolls. "Kana, this is your seventy-third successful B-rank mission. Are you planning on registering for the upcoming Jonin Exam?" He glanced over the scroll he was reading to see her reaction.

"I was contemplating it sir, but I haven't come to a decision yet," she answered honestly.

"Well, I suggest that you seriously consider the opportunity. You have proven yourself a fine squad leader these last three years as a chunin."

"Thank you, sir, I am honored," Kana said, bowing her head. "I will take your words into deep consideration."

He nodded once, satisfied with her answer. "Good work, all. Dismissed."

Kana was pleasantly surprised to hear that her talents as a ninja were being recognized, and a small smile played on her lips as she and her squad turned to leave. As they did, the Hokage called in his next visitor, and Uchiha Itachi walked through the doors. His dark eyes briefly made contact with hers as he walked toward the desk, and she made her way out of the office.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Kana was soaking in the hot springs at the bathhouse in southern Konoha, as she occasionally did after successful missions. Not much of a gossiper, she leaned her back against the side of the bath and closed her eyes, zoning out the chatty women's voices. She kept her long dark brown hair in its usual tight bun on the crown of her head to avoid getting the ends wet.

But she couldn't relax completely. An unusual predicament loomed in her near future. If Kana was to take the Jonin Exam two months from now, she would have to train vigorously when she was not on missions. More vigorously than usual, that is. In addition to that, Ayaki-sensei was away on an important S-ranked mission in the Land of Rice Paddies.

_I could train on my own, but having a sensei with experience would really help,_ she thought.

Then a thought occurred to her. Uchiha Itachi had just returned from a solo mission. (He almost never worked in a squad.) The Hokage would give him at least a three day rest before sending him out again. She knew Itachi as a young ninja with the potential to become the strongest Uchiha the clan had ever seen. Who better to help her train?

But Itachi never conversed with ninja his own age. His power and aloofness had isolated him from his comrades and intimidated others.

Kana, however, was not one to be intimidated by a boy two years her junior. She was also sure that she could teach him at least one new technique. She was a respectable ninja herself, and her record proved it. Kana had completed 12 A-rank missions, 73 B-rank missions, 58 C-rank missions, and 85 D-rank missions.

Strangely enough, Kana couldn't recall anyone saying that Itachi was cold or arrogant. Perhaps he was somewhat amiable.

She opened dark her eyes and squinted at the orange afternoon sun. Almost dinnertime. _Well, there's only one way to find out… _she thought, climbing out and wrapping a towel around herself.

* * *

Itachi awoke at four a.m. the next morning, took a cold shower, and put on his usual training outfit. It consisted of a simple black shirt with the Uchiha clan's insignia on the back, black shorts, and grey sandals. His long raven hair was pulled back in a low ponytail.

The sky was still dark when he left the house. He carefully closed the door behind him so as not to disturb his parents or brother. It was a most ordinary morning until Itachi saw a figure leaning against a tree near the training grounds where he usually practiced. Most ninja didn't start training until five, and even then no one would dare invade his practice area.

_This is unusual… _he thought to himself.

When Itachi was a fair distance away, he assessed the ninja who had apparently been waiting for him. It was a slim teenage girl, short for her age, and she appeared to be dressed for battle. She wore tight black shorts that ended just above the knee, a grey qipao dress that reached mid-thigh, and black sandals. She also had her forehead protector tied around her neck and a black belt around her waist, which her ninja tools were strapped to.

The girl had her arms crossed and seemed bored, but her coal eyes were calculating his every move. He had definitely seen her somewhere before, but he could not remember where.

"Can I help you?" Itachi asked as he approached the girl.

"Actually, you can," she said, uncrossing her arms and stepping toward him. "My name is Uchiha Kana and I would like to train with you." Kana stared at him hard to let him know that she was serious.

Itachi raised his brows. Apparently, they were part of the same clan. But that wasn't what surprised him; Itachi wasn't familiar with most members of the clan. It was the latter half of her statement that he found astonishing. "With me?" he stated. He couldn't have heard her correctly. Did she not know that he was one of Konoha's most elite ninja? He didn't have time to waste training chunin.

"Yes, you heard me correctly. I can assure you that this training will be mutually beneficial." Kana maintained her stern expression.

Itachi smirked. "I'm sorry, but I don't have the time," he said, continuing toward the training grounds. Kana grabbed his arm to stop him; he turned to her.

"How about we make a deal," she said, a sly smile beginning to cross her lips. "I'll show you my jutsu. If it's to your liking, then I will teach it to you. In exchange, you will train me for the upcoming Jonin Exam."

Itachi watched her intently. She was definitely persistent, and he wasn't in the mood for an argument. "Okay then," he said plainly.

Kana gave a triumphant smile and began to walk to the training area; Itachi followed. They walked through the forest a short ways and made it to the large dirt clearing where Itachi trained. By now, the sky was a light shade of gray, but the sun still was not visible. Itachi stopped at the edge of the clearing under the tall trees, now quite curious about the oddly bold girl.

_This girl must know who I am, yet she still believes that her technique will impress me… _he thought, shaking his head.

Itachi watched Kana stop in the middle of the clearing, but she did not turn to face him. The next moment, his surroundings vanished, including Kana, and he appeared to be floating in a bluish purple sky. Torrents of black crows with Sharingan eyes surrounded him, some diving at him.

"Genjutsu…" Itachi muttered, activating his Sharingan. He had missed the actual performance of the jutsu, so it was too late for him to know how to copy it, but he could try to see through it.

"Pretty good, huh?" he heard Kana's voice echo from somewhere, but he couldn't see her.

He continued to scan for her using his Sharingan, and finally spotted her purple chakra source several yards to his right. The next moment, the ground was beneath him and his surroundings returned. He stumbled forward before regaining his balance, and stood a little shakily. He looked down at Kana; the corners of her pink lips were turned slightly upward in a smug grin.

Itachi narrowed his eyes at her. "How did you trap me in a genjutsu without making eye contact?"

The smile left her face and she stared up at him with a wholly serious expression.

_Damnit, conceal emotion, conceal emotion! How could I forget?_ she scolded herself inwardly.

"Does that mean that you agree to train me?"

Itachi slowly remembered that he had agreed to a deal earlier. At the time, he hadn't even considered the possibility of losing. Now he would have to train this chunin or be a complete ass - which he wasn't. _I really __**don't **__have the time to, but… _"That's right. We made a deal, didn't we?" he said tiredly.

Kana sensed his hesitation. "You won't regret it," she promised.

* * *

**Author's Note** – I'm formerly ablondegeek, so there is a small possibility that you've read this before. To clear up any confusion: I had issues with that account and was forced to start another. This story was posted first from that account, then removed, and now I'm re-posting it.

This was my first fanfic, and I would love it if you gave me some concrit on it. Btw, Kana finds out when/where Itachi trained by asking locals, which is what she was about to do at the end of the bath house scene. Also, Itachi uses Kana's technique on Naruto in Shippuden episode 126. He can't easily see through it because it is unfamiliar to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Salvation and Despair** by SC-Jupe

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"So, how did I do?" Kana asked.

She was nervous, but kept a straight face and steady voice. They had trained hard all morning, and it was just after noon. Itachi had little to say the entire time and it was worrying her. Was she so bad that she wasn't worth his efforts? Or did he just not care about their deal? After all, she still hadn't taught him how to perform the technique, and she definitely would not if he wasn't going to give her any feedback.

Itachi was silent as they walked slowly through the forest. Finally, "Your ninjutsu needs improvement. But your taijutsu is almost faultless. Your genjutsu is impressive."

Kana was both relieved and surprised. Relieved that the entire morning's training wasn't a waste of time, and surprised that Uchiha Itachi had just complimented her ninja skills.

"How do you think I'll fare at the Exam?"

Itachi looked at her. "You know, I haven't taken the Exam."

_Of course. How could I forget? He's still a chunin, too. Itachi will probably just be promoted jonin, since he's already proven himself exceptional…_

"I know that," she lied easily. "But you work primarily with Jonin when you're in the village, right?"

Itachi thought for a moment. "Yes, that's correct. I suppose you're just as good as the worst of them."

_That's encouraging_, she thought sarcastically. "So it looks like you have your work cut out for you, right, Itachi?" she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He shrugged a bit. Actually, he wasn't particularly looking forward to training the girl. However, she was stronger than he had expected, so it wouldn't be too much work, he supposed.

They were in the main streets of Konoha now, which were bustling with people. The avenue was becoming more and more crowded, as it was the prime lunchtime for most citizens.

"Or should I call you Itachi-sensei?" Kana wondered aloud.

"No, Itachi's fine," he said quickly. Even though he was technically Kana's superior because of his position in the clan, Itachi thought of her as an equal, more or less. Being called "sensei" would be… awkward.

"So _Itachi_, are you hungry?"

He raised an eyebrow in question.

"That's my favorite restaurant," Kana said, pointing to a small sushi bar just ahead.

Itachi shrugged. "Okay."

They made their way to the indicated place, maneuvering through a throng of people. Kana lifted the canvas that hung in front of the counter so that they could sit. Itachi could see nothing special about the place. From the wooden stools and counter to the pale yellow walls to the large menu posted for all to see, the place didn't seem unusual. It wasn't dirty, but it wasn't lavish in the slightest. Completely regular. He vaguely wondered why Kana liked the place so much, but didn't really care. They ordered quickly and sat, waiting in silence.

"Can I ask you something?" Itachi said hesitantly.

Kana looked at him, a bit surprised. "Sure."

"Why did you decide to become a ninja? Most girls your age work with their mothers, or take over the family trade."

Kana didn't reply; she was staring at something straight ahead as if it were very interesting. After a long pause, she replied. "That's kind of a personal question isn't it?" She looked straight at him, black eyes quizzical.

"Well, if you don't feel comfortable…" his voice trailed off, and he averted his gaze. The chef served them their meals, and they thanked him quietly. Itachi began eating to end the awkward moment. Now, he just wanted to leave.

Kana felt bad. Itachi had agreed to train her, and this was how she treated him in return? He was just curious. Of course he hadn't meant to offend her.

"It's just… it's kind of a long story," she said, managing a weak smile.

Itachi slowed his eating and watched her keenly.

Kana took a breath and continued. "You're right. It would seem unusual that I've decided to become a ninja. Neither of my parents were ninja. My father is a fisherman, and my mother was a simple housewife. I also had an older sister, Ayume. She wanted to be just like my mother and have a family of her own someday," Kana smiled sadly at the memory.

"But… then the Third Great Shinobi World War broke out. My family lived with my mother's clan at the time. It wasn't near any major ports or cities, so we were able to avoid conflict for many years. Then, when I was five, I became ill, and my father had to bring me ten miles to the nearest village with a decent doctor. There was a violent raid on the clan while we were away. When my father and I returned, our home was nothing but ash.

"My father changed that day. He said that if my mother and the other villagers had known how to defend themselves, that never would have happened. He was determined that I never be helpless like they were, so he sought out his former clan, the Uchiha. Apparently my father had left the Uchiha as a young man after falling in love with my mother. He also wasn't interested in the ninja arts in those days, which have always been the chief focus of our clan.

"When I was old enough, my father put me in the Ninja Academy. He told me to listen to my sensei and train hard to become a fine ninja. One day, I would be able to protect him and myself. Which, I suppose, I can do now," she finished.

The last time Kana had told the story was to Makimi, her teammate, a few years ago, and it wasn't one that she liked to repeat. Several times during her monologue, Kana had felt like crying. But she didn't, of course; she had gotten quite good at hiding her emotions.

Itachi was silent for a long time. He appeared to be lost in thought. "I remember the war as well. Even though I was only four years old at the time."

Kana was glad that she told Itachi; surprisingly enough, he seemed to understand how she felt, at least towards warfare. It would seem that Itachi didn't have to say much for Kana to be able to read him.

"Uh, I promised my father that I'd help him in the shop this afternoon…" Kana began. They had both finished eating, but Itachi was still pondering something.

"Oh, yes," he said. Itachi stood, placed several coins on the counter, and nodded to the cook. As he turned to go, Kana realized that he had paid for her as well.

"Um, Itachi, you don't have to pay for me…" she said hesitantly.

He looked at her like she was crazy. "Kana, don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Oh, right." She would have to pay him back later. Kana left the restaurant quickly and headed out to help her father when she realized that Itachi was walking beside her. "Um, what are you doing?"

"Walking you to your father's shop, of course." Again, he looked at her like she was delusional.

"Uh, okay." Something weird was going on. That morning Itachi didn't have the time of day for her, but now he was paying for her lunch _and_ walking her to work? Why was he being so nice?

_Maybe I can't read him that well after all… _she thought despondently.

"Itachi!"

Kana lifted her head to see Uchiha Fugaku, the head of the Uchiha clan and Itachi's father, striding toward them. He was wearing his Konoha Military Police Force uniform, and scowl darkened his weathered face.

"Father," said Itachi bowing slightly. "This is Uchiha Kana."

Kana imitated Itachi's bow, and Fugaku gave her a curt nod. She was careful to keep a blank face when she noticed the anger in his piercing brown eyes.

"Itachi, you're coming to the meeting this afternoon, correct?"

"I will be there."

"Good," Fugaku said. He nodded to them again, glaring at Kana, then walked by them brusquely.

Itachi and Kana continued walking in silence until Kana stopped. They had reached her father's small shop. Itachi also stopped, and turned to face her.

"So… I'll see you tomorrow then?" Kana asked. She couldn't hide some of the nervousness in her voice. After all, he hadn't confirmed that he would continue training her yet.

"Same time and place," Itachi said, smiling a little.

Kana immediately felt relieved. However, she noticed that Itachi looked different when he smiled: his eyes weren't as cold, and his features softened. It was… nice. "Bye, then," she said, returning the smile before walking into the shop.

Itachi watched her go, then began walking back the way they had come toward the center of town for the meeting, the smile spreading across his face.

_What a strange girl, _he thought.

* * *

That night, the family of Uchiha Fugaku was having a quiet dinner. No one in the family was very talkative, and when they did speak to each other, it was usually restricted only to serious matters. The only sound that could be heard was the tapping of chopsticks against ceramic plates and bowls.

Fugaku was the one who broke the silence.

"Itachi, what were you doing with that girl this morning?" he asked sternly, his voice gruff.

Mikoto and Sasuke raised their heads, and two pairs of black eyes stared at Itachi curiously. Itachi wasn't often seen with girls. In fact, this was probably the first time.

Itachi calmly looked up and locked onto his father's eyes. "We were training together," he said matter-of-factly.

"Training with chunin is not going to help you improve. Don't forget, you have a special mission in three weeks that you must be prepared for."

Itachi continued to meet his father's icy gaze. "I understand," he said coldly.

Fugaku nodded, satisfied with his oldest son's answer, and returned to his dinner. Mikoto and Sasuke did the same. However, Itachi glared at Fugaku's bowed head, wondering why his father's words had made him so angry.

* * *

Kana was waiting for Itachi outside the practice grounds the next day. It was windy and the sky was overcast, but she was impatient to begin training. At 4:15 a.m., she saw Itachi hurrying toward her.

_Is he in a hurry to get started, too?_ she wondered.

"Why are you-" she started to ask as he approached.

Itachi cut off her question with a sharp glare, and roughly grabbed her by the elbow, leading her down the path to the training area.

"What's going on…" she asked carefully, practically running to keep up. Her stride was only half as long as his.

Itachi was silent until they reached the clearing, where he finally released her. She looked up at him expectantly. Even though he was younger than Kana, Itachi was at least six inches taller and looked several years older.

Kana had no idea why he was acting so strangely but was fairly sure that he'd explain himself presently.

"My father doesn't want me to train with you anymore," he said. Anger was evident in his voice; he would not meet her gaze.

Kana felt like she'd been punched in the gut. She had finally found an excellent ninja to train her while her sensei was away, and now she'd have to find _another_ one. That wasn't going to be easy. Most jonin Kana knew were almost constantly kept out on missions. She would most likely have to train alone after all.

Kana cleared her throat. "Well, I guess I'd better go then," she said, turning quickly to leave. She didn't want him to see the tears welling up in her eyes.

Itachi watched her start walking away and suddenly realized that he didn't want her to leave. He quickly grabbed her wrist, restraining her.

She looked up at him, hoping that he wouldn't notice her distress.

"That doesn't mean that I'm not going to train you," he told her, his black eyes fierce.

"But your father-"

"He won't be a problem. We simply won't let him find out," Itachi said, softening his gaze at her sad eyes.

Kana hesitated. Fugaku was not only the head of the clan, but also the chief of the Konoha Military Police Force. In all, a very powerful man who she did not want to cross.

"We made a deal, didn't we?" Itachi gently reminded her.

_I still do need a sensei… perhaps it will be worth the risk if I make jonin_, she reasoned. "Okay," she agreed. "After we train, you'll leave by the usual exit, and I'll take the long way around. That way it will appear as if I was training in the far grounds."

Itachi smiled. "Good."

* * *

**Author's Notes** – So, there's some dispute as to whether ninja take a Jonin Exam or are appointed Jonin, so I just made that stuff up. It's not necessarily true because different sources say different things. So, how am I doing? Reviews are welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**Salvation and Despair **by SC-Jupe

* * *

**Chapter 3**

"Try it once more."

Kana was panting; she was hunched over with her hands on her knees, sweat dripping from her face. She had been training with Itachi for almost two weeks now; whenever both of them weren't on missions that is. Kana recalled the conversation she had with Itachi on her third day of training.

"_Almost all jonin have mastered at least two types of nature transformation," he told her._

_Kana remained stoic. "I've only mastered fire."_

"_That's what I suspected. Most Uchihas have an affinity to fire." He held up a small piece of paper in a gloved hand. "This is a special type of Chakra Paper used by the Uchiha. It will not reflect your fire nature affinity, but your next strongest nature affinity."_

_Kana nodded and took the paper. It seemed to hesitate for a few moments, but finally turned to dirt and crumbled. She looked up._

"_Earth nature," Itachi said with a smirk._

Even now Kana didn't see the humor in being covered with dirt whenever she practiced her jutsu.

Despite her exhaustion, Kana stood and nodded her consent to Itachi's order. She performed the proper hand signs, and slipped beneath the ground. Several moments later, she burst through the earth thirty meters from where she had previously stood. Kana now collapsed with fatigue.

Itachi walked over to where she was lying and smiled down at her. "Well done. You've nearly mastered it," he said, offering her his hand.

Kana took it, and he helped her up. She smiled weakly. "I'm sure I'll get it tomorrow."

"I am, too," he said. "I'll see you then." Itachi walked toward his usual exit.

Kana watched him for a minute, then began her roundabout route through the woods.

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Taijo asked Kana, clearly frustrated. Her tall teammate glared down at her, narrow brown eyes conveying animosity.

After finishing her day's training with Itachi, Kana had begun walking home. When she was only a few blocks from her house, Taijo had sprinted up to her. He was quite obviously agitated.

"I was training," she stated simply.

"Well, you weren't at your usual training grounds!" he yelled, exasperated.

"I wanted to try someplace new..." Kana said timidly. She hated lying, especially to her comrades. She had only been to her usual training grounds a couple times since she started training with Itachi. Unfortunately, it was necessary.

Taijo continued to glower at her. "Doesn't matter, anyway. The Hokage asked to see Team 4 immediately."

Kana was surprised. They had just gotten back from a mission the day before yesterday. It was unusual for them to be sent out again so quickly. "We're getting a new mission already?"

"I don't know for sure, but I suspect so. Come on, we're already late. Makimi's waiting for us there."

"I'm afraid that I have summoned you here under grim circumstances," the Third Hokage said gravely. Team 4 was standing before the Hokage in his office, and all suspected that they would soon be assigned a new mission.

"Your sensei, Ayaki, was killed in battle yesterday. I received notice this morning."

Makimi let out a small gasp, and Taijo stiffened, his features hardening. Kana's eyes widened in surprise.

"The funeral will be held tonight. I am giving you all a week's leave before assigning Team 4 any new missions. You are dismissed."

Team 4 retreated from office slowly. Kana saw tears streaming down the Makimi's pink-tinged cheeks. Taijo looked shocked and angry. They gradually made their way outside. Ironically, the sun was beaming brightly, and the sky was a bright blue. There were hardly any clouds at all. Kana tried hard to fight down the large bubble of grief that she suddenly felt in her throat. She thought that she might burst out sobbing at any moment.

_A shinobi must never show tears_, _a shinobi must never show tears_, she repeated to herself.

The three chunin stood close to each other just outside the Hokage tower. Taijo and Makimi didn't notice Kana's internal struggle, however; they thought she looked as cool and stoic as ever.

"Aren't you... sad, Kana?" Makimi asked slowly, her large blue eyes still watery.

Kana couldn't reply; if she did, she was sure that she'd start crying. She stared off in the distance, trying to keep her cool.

Anger rapidly replaced the sadness in Makimi's eyes. "So the five years we spent together mean nothing to you, Kana?" she asked fiercely. Makimi knew that Kana hardly ever showed emotion, but she also knew how much her sensei had cared for Kana. She would be damned if Kana couldn't even shed one tear for the man.

Kana said nothing. She couldn't look at her.

"Didn't you care for Ayaki-sensei at _all_? He was always kinder to you than Taijo and me. He always showed you affection!" Makimi yelled.

Kana could feel her eyes burning, but refused to let any tears fall in front of Makimi.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you Kana? Can you feel_ nothing_?" the blonde shrieked. When Kana remained silent once again, Makimi slapped her face.

Finally, Kana turned to stare up at Makimi in disbelief. "I think I'm... going home now," she said, turning on her heel and walking rapidly away from her comrades. Several tears made tracks down her face, but she quickly wiped them away.

"I'd better go, too," Makimi muttered, walking in the direction opposite from the one that the dark-haired kunoichi had taken. Taijo didn't hear her, though. He was still staring after Kana.

_Doesn't she care at all? How can she act like nothing happened…? _he thought in disbelief. He knew that Kana rarely displayed any signs of emotion; he had worked with her since they were genin. But surely she felt something for their beloved sensei? Taijo shook his head angrily and strode home.

* * *

"Itachi."

Itachi was sitting at Kana's favorite sushi bar eating lunch. He had never eaten there before he met her, but now he often found himself coming there for lunch, especially when she was away on missions and he was still in Konoha. It reminded him of her.

Itachi looked up from his meal to find his father lifting the flap in front of the stand. He watched silently as he took the seat next to his own.

Fugaku clasped his hands on the counter in front of him. "I've received some bad news," he said, not meeting his son's gaze.

Itachi waited in silence, inquiring with his eyes.

"My friend Natsuko Ayaki was killed while on an S-ranked mission yesterday. The funeral will be held tonight." Fugaku gravely looked at his eldest son.

"I am sorry to hear that," Itachi murmured. "I will come with you."

Fugaku nodded to him sadly, then stood and left as quickly as he had come.

* * *

Kana walked aimlessly through the streets of Konoha. She had stopped her tears, but was lost in grief. Her cheek stung. Makimi's words stung. Kana had cared very much for her sensei. But, of course, no one knew that.

The massacre of her clan had emotionally traumatized Kana. That was why she stopped showing her feelings... even to her own _father_. When was the last time she had told him that she loved him? It must have been at least ten years. The tears started coming again.

When Kana was seven years old, she came to the conclusion that if she didn't form any bonds, she wouldn't feel so awful if those bonds were broken. When she learned in the Ninja Academy that shinobi weren't supposed to have any emotions at all, Kana made it her personal philosophy to never show emotion. Then, she would never again feel the way she had when she discovered the death of her mother and sister.

Kana smiled crookedly at the irony. She hadn't meant to form any bonds, but she had unintentionally made one with Ayaki. Even though he openly displayed emotion, unlike Kana, and was always friendly and kind, also unlike Kana, she had a connection with him. Kana sadly recalled the day that she met Ayaki.

"_My name is Natsuko Ayaki, and I will be your sensei for the next few years," Ayaki said with a wide grin, purple eyes flashing._

_Three young genin sat cross-legged on the grass by the black lake, looking up with fascination at their new teacher. They had just been assigned to their three-man squad a half hour earlier._

"Y_ou all are officially genin now. Since we'll probably be stuck with each other for quite some time, why don't you tell me a bit about yourselves?"_

_He looked down on three blank young faces. After a long pause, he said, "Okay, then. Let's start with you," pointing to Kana and smiling all the while._

_Kana stared back at him seriously. "I am Uchiha Kana."_

_Ayaki raised a slender black brow. "Uchiha, huh? You look young to have graduated already. How old are you?"_

"_Ten years old," she said, keeping the same blank expression._

_He laughed shortly. "You're two years early, you know."_

_Kana said nothing._

_Ayaki furrowed his brows. "What, no smile? You graduated almost top of your class, and two years earlier than most genin. You should be proud."_

_She remained stoic. "Emotions are unnecessary. A shinobi must conceal emotions, lest they prevent him from completing a mission."_

_The wise man shook his head sadly. "Shinobi don't always have to hide their emotions."_

_Now, Kana couldn't help but be a little surprised. In the Academy, they had been taught to kill their emotions. Yet, this highly respectable jonin was saying that she __**should **__display emotion? If so, then when? And when should she not? The question confused Kana. She finally decided to ignore it, for she could find no answer._

"_Go home and get some rest. Your training begins tomorrow at 5 am. We'll be meeting here."_

_Kana had been so absorbed in the question that she hadn't heard her other teammates. What were their names again? Manami? Taiko? She thought hard, but couldn't remember._

_The young ninjas got up and began to walk home._

"_Uchiha Kana," Ayaki-sensei said. Kana stopped walking and turned. Her two teammates continued on their way, quietly talking to each other._

_Ayaki motioned for her to come closer. "Kana, do you know your clan's signature jutsu?" he said, squatting down to her eye level._

_Kana nodded, remembering slowly. After all, she had only been living with the clan for four years. "The fireball jutsu."_

_Ayaki smiled slightly, his eyes shining. "Do you know how to do it?"_

_She shook her head. Who would have taught her such an advanced jutsu? Her father was no ninja, and she didn't know any other clan members well enough that they would train her._

"_Well, you're in luck. I happen to have a fire nature affinity, and I can teach you. Once you master this technique you'll be considered a full-fledged member of the Uchiha."_

Ayaki taught her the hand signs and demonstrated. He had been so kind to Kana, and was always looking out for her. Ayaki trained her personally, and eventually taught her all the fire-style jutsu that he knew. Makimi was right: he had always shown Kana affection. And she had never returned it. Not once.

After a month of practice, ten-year-old Kana finally mastered the fireball jutsu. She had been so excited to show her sensei, though she didn't show it. For some reason, she wanted Ayaki's approval and respect. Perhaps that was because he had the approval and respect of nearly everyone in the village. He could even get along with that bastard, Fugaku.

Kana absorbed herself in her training not only to achieve her dream of becoming an elite ninja for herself and her father, but also to avoid contact with others. She reflected how this strategy had only worked with Makimi and Taijo. Ayaki would constantly oversee her training, whether she liked it or not. She vaguely recalled her training with Itachi. She and Ayaki had made a bond through his sheer determination. Why did he take such an interest in her? Why was he so kind to her? Kana was so cold to him. She shook her head forlornly. She had never asked him; now she would never know.

But her sensei was probably just about as different from her as he possibly could have been. Ayaki never hid his emotions and there was a constant flow of kindness from him toward almost everyone that he met. He made numerous friends and even more acquaintances. Which Kana had thought was completely ridiculous, being that she associated bonds with agony.

Kana never understood Ayaki and his ways, and never tried to... but maybe a small part of her wanted to be like him? He seemed to know something important that she did not. That she still did not know. And, for some reason, still _wanted _to know. It was what he told her on the first day that she met him. _"Shinobi don't always have to hide their emotions." _Kana had always wanted to ask him what he meant by that statement...why hadn't she?

Even though Kana would claim that she hid emotion because it was a "shinobi rule" to anyone who asked, she really did because it was a very convenient way to avoid making emotional ties with people. She knew that only pain would follow. Yet, avoiding bonds hadn't made Kana happy, as she once thought it would, so long ago. Naturally, focusing on her training distracted her soon after and becoming stronger rapidly became more important than happiness.

But Kana could feel the end of her imperative training approaching with the Jonin Exam. When she made jonin, she would have achieved her goal of becoming an elite ninja. Somehow, the prospect of realizing her dream left Kana feeling empty. She hadn't expected this; she had expected to feel fulfilled, accomplished.

_Ayaki seemed to always feel content, no matter what the situation... was it his connections that pleased him so, rather than his accomplishments?_

Did that make Ayaki happy? Having friends that he could trust to have his back? She did rely on Taijo and Makimi during missions when it was necessary, but she didn't trust them, or even vaguely consider them friends. Kana wondered if an actual friendship would make her happy, but didn't know if it would. That was something that she'd never experienced before. The fear of losing people precious to her had caused her to put up a wall. But, if bonds led to happiness, perhaps they would be worth the risk she'd take in making them...

Kana suddenly realized that it was getting late. The sky was pink and orange as the sun was setting. The funeral would be starting soon. She took off at a sprint for her house.

* * *

**Author's Notes** – You probably know that Itachi only uses fire and water jutsu. You may ask, how could he possibly teach Kana an Earth-style jutsu? The answer is that he is a genius. He's also very familiar with jutsu of all 5 elements because of his vast fighting experience. I made up the Uchiha Chakra Paper... I just couldn't think of any other way to find Kana's second nature affinity. Also, you may wonder what the hell Kana was actually _doing_. It's the "Underground Submarine Voyage". It allows the user to sink under the ground by turning it to fluid, then close in on their enemy by swimming rapidly toward them (underground). Good for sneak attacks. Kisame uses it in Shippuden episode 12. Please review. :)


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